Why is TV Such a Flippin’ Disaster???

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There are a few television shows I like. Despite my swearing up and down, I’ve become a CSI (the Vegas version) addict and I have a hard time passing up re-runs of Seinfeld or the Simpsons. I recoginize the value of good TV as a means of filling space, wasting time and even generally dulling the senses. That’s all good. But, this is just beyond wrong.

The ABC Family channel apparently watched Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion and decided something like this…

“Yes, this was maybe the worst thing ever placed on celluloid. Yes, it did badly at the box office. Yes, we are total morons. Yes, people will like a TV version even better!”

The result is Romy & Michele: In the Beginning. Apparently, besides creating the heavens and the earth, in the beginning, God also created crappy made-for-tv movies.

A prequel? Really? Their description alone is worth the price of cable…

Before they rocked their high school reunion, Romy and Michele took a rocking road trip to Hollywood. Flashback ten years…all Romy and Michele have is a destination and a dream. Before they can say “Hollywood, here we come,” they’re dipping their toes in the Pacific but they can’t even set foot in Ozone, the coolest club in town. With their future of fame and fortune hanging by a velvet rope, they’re sabotaged by a crazed PR agent and a super-needy supermodel until their California dreaming seems to be coming to a very un-Hollywood ending. Are they destined for drabness or can a little help from some lucky shoes, unlikely friends and their idol Paula Abdul show them what it really means to be a star?

WTF? Paula Abdul is involved. Seems appropriate considering how American Karaoke gave us the $10 crack whore version of music.

Not to say that ABC Family is bad or anything (they at least got a hottie named Alex Breckenridge to play Romy or Michele – I forget which), but when Lifetime snickers at them for this movie while in production for “Why Did You Steal My Baby IV: A Mother’s Revenge,” you might be doing something wrong.

Sports Illustrated has a blub every week – “This Week’s Sign the Apocolypse is Upon Us.” Thank you ABC Family for giving us a big, fat reminder.

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