When Size Really Matters, Count on Wonderjocks

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Ok, what the hell is wrong with men?  Good grief, I wonder about my gender sometimes and our weak ass attempts to attract the opposite sex.  There are catcalls, which always work since women regularly maul construction workers, cheesy lines, the obvious lying and now this.

Size really does count, just ask Australian underwear maker AussieBum which has just launched the “Wonderjock” for men who want to look bigger.

Since the launch seven days ago, AussieBum says it has sold 50,000 pairs of “Wonderjock,” mostly on its Web site www.aussiebum.com and a handful of stores around the world.

“The design of the underwear, separates and lifts. The fabric cup protrudes everything out in front instead of down toward the ground,” said “Wonderjock” designer Sean Ashby.

“There is no padding, rings or strings,” said Ashby, a co-founder of the Internet-based AussieBum firm.

Ashby said the idea for the “Wonderjock” was the result of online feedback from customers who expressed an interest in looking bigger, just like women using the “Wonderbra.”

“When you go to a department store to buy underwear you usually get a grandmother serving, which is not the ideal way to get feedback,” said Ashby. “Our customers give us feedback. We didn’t realize that big is better.”

Here is the single “biggest” problem with Wonderjock.  For women who do actually prefer men to be larger than average (fewer than 10 percent, according to many surveys), there is a reason…because they like how it FEELS.  So, the minute you yank off (no pun intended) said Wonderjock and reveal your…ahem…manhood, the groan of dissatisfaction may be immediately followed by the “How good are you with your tongue?” question, which, for most women, is more important anyway.

Look, I’m no expert, but it seems to me that the difference between the Wonderbra and the Wonderjock is that the Wonderbra provides visual stimulation to men, but doesn’t actually impede the path to sex whereas the Wonderjock is just plain false advertising.

Plus, dude, if you have to wear a Wonderjock to feel good about your…er…assets, you may need therapy, not more underwear.

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