The Top Baby Names of 2006

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It’s a funny thing, naming a child.  On one hand, a simple but elegant name can lead to greatness and, even more important, hotness.  I mean, do you know any hot girls named Gertrude?  But, I bet like 7 out of 10 named Nikki are pretty smokin’, right?

I digress.  Anyway, the “Baby Center” recapped the top baby names of 2006.  You can see their entire top 100 here.  For myself, I’ll just go with the top 20.


1 Emma
2 Madison
3 Ava
4 Emily
5 Isabella
6 Kaitlyn
7 Sophia
8 Olivia
9 Abigail
10 Hailey
11 Hannah
12 Sarah
13 Madeline
14 Lily
15 Ella
16 Alyssa
17 Riley
18 Chloe
19 Lauren
20 Grace

I honestly have very few quibbles with this list.  Most of the girl names are pretty reasonable, but don’t you get the sense that many of them have a vaguely European bent to them?  I mean Ava, Isabella, Sophia?  How can you feed Isabella Fruit Loops for breakfast?  Shouldn’t she get raspberry scones and a latte even age 4?

My only argument would be with Abagail.  Yikes.  I guess it shortens to Abby, which is cute, but you KNOW everytime someone sends this girl an email, it will start with “Dear Abby” and uproarious laughter.


Now, this is the list where I have some issues.

1 Aiden
2 Jacob
3 Ethan
4 Ryan
5 Matthew
6 Jack
7 Noah
8 Nicholas
9 Joshua
10 Logan
11 Andrew
12 Michael
13 Caden
14 Dylan
15 Tyler
16 Connor
17 Jackson
18 Caleb
19 Jayden
20 Alexander

Aiden?  Really?  Much like Isabella or Eva, I get the feeling that kid should be reading the Wall Street Journal while getting his corrective shoes polished by the butler at age 5.  As for the rest:

Ethan – pretentious kid who thinks liking Jewel’s poetry makes him artsy
Noah – relentless model boat builder who is fixated on animals of every species
Logan – constantly confused with “username”
Caden – way too close to “Gayden” which is just not fair
Connor – doomed to life of spy or porn star
Jackson – obsessed with action and monkeys
Caleb – future serial killer or Amish farmer
Jayden – ok for Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, not for you
Alexander – you just think he will be great, but more likely mediocre

Overall, not a horrible list with less creativity than in years past, though when I saw that Nevaeh has become a trendy name because it is “heaven” spelled backward, I threw up in my mouth a little.


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