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I’m sure none of the Monty Python folks envisioned spam going on to become a word that meant more than meat in a can. But, hey, you never know. I get lots of spam. I have quite a few email addresses and most of them get at least some spam, so I know it is coming. A lot of it gets filtered by the multiple filters I have in place, but quite a bit still gets through. Here’s a sample.

Below is a sampling of some of the spam I received between 11:59pm Thursday and 10am Friday. This represents about one-third of what I got. I edited the content to save space and removed relevant links.

The first mail came from Nosegay Bastardizes. So, the sender’s first name is a small flower arrangement and his last name is a slang term curse word. Wow.

Warning! Do Not Attempt To Train Your Dog, Or Even Think About Hiring A Dog Trainer Until You Read This Ebook!

Dear Friend,

blah, blah, blah about product…

>>link to website
Not only is this guy my friend, he is warning me to not attempt to train my dog and not to think. Since I have no dog, this should not be a problem and since I haven’t had any caffeine yet this morning, thinking shouldn’t be an issue either.


We tried contacting you awhile ago about your low interest morta(ge rate.

blah, blah, blah…

>>link to website
Best Regards,

supposed spammer

Hello. Sorry I missed your email. I’ll have to look back through my “stupid bullshit spam” folder and see if it is in there. Best regards!

Got this one twice…

We offer three products at this point of time, please read the complete email for more information on each.

Digital Cable Filters
Fuel Savers
Ebay Business Traning Program

blah, blah, blah…

Try us out, You wont regret it!

Maybe your looking for something else?

Fuel savers?

blah, blah, blah…

Or maybe your looking for an interactive eBay Business Training Program on CD?

Wow, in a single email i can get illegal cable descramblers, some kind of fuel saving device for my truck AND a training CD for making money on Ebay. Talk about an entrepreneur.

I love how he asks, “Maybe you are looking for something else?” as if I would’ve come to this guy, he shows me the illegal cable stuff and I say, “Nah, man, not today, but do you have any Ebay Training CD’s. I could really go for one of them.”


We sent you an email a while ago, because you now qualify for a much lower rate based on the biggest rate drop in years.

blah, blah, blah…

Best Regards,

Hello. I’m still looking. Hmmmm, maybe that email ended up in my “Eat shit and die you bloodsucking, scumbag spammers” folder. I’ll take a look and get back with you. Best regards.

Hello, How would you liike to spend Iess on your druggs?

Varil Vluiga Caisaim and many other.

Save over 60 % with PhharamcyByMAlL SHOP.

Have a nice day.

As a matter of fact, I would like to spend Iess on my druggs. How did you know? We have so much in common. Call me. k? Have a nice day!

lncrease your S P E R M volume by 500%

PRlCE: 80c / D0SE >>link to website
Seriously, is there anyone who really wants to do this? Is there a woman who really wants you to do this? I hope not.

Good day!

This email was sent to you by your friend from our software stock shop.

Your friend’s message:
Yesterday I found great software stock eshop while I was looking for Office XP.
Really cheap prices and great offers everyday.
Fellow, look here, isn’t it a great offer? 🙂
I Saved upto 80%!
I’ve copied some prices, look below:

list of really cheap prices…

…. and much much more. They are really good for you, click here to visit.
Just try them and you won’t be dlsappolnted.
Have a nice day. See ya later!
End of your friends’ message.

Good day to you fine sir! I’m so glad my “friend” sent me this list of great software prices. I’ve been looking all over the web and thought I’d go broke until I found out I can get Photoshop for 50 bucks through this place. You sure are a good friend. Who are you again? Have a nice day. See ya later! Will I really see ya later or are you just saying that?

Rock her all night
more info here…

dialect gf casanova zsw vignette zl arbitrage co confidante qhw gave gdm airport xm tiresome tjp ionosphere mt surcease bl agglutinate kkt shuck kct axisymmetric zi competitor kw swingable gn physic dq harpsichord wrr sit jdv no ah entice hxs bittern bvb cathodic um amy lp bronchial vl

I got several variations of this email also including these fine images…

Tiberius Erectus! LOL!!!

My favorite part of these emails is the list of nonsense words at the bottom clearly designed to fool spam blocking software. Here is a list of words from these emails that are actual words…

dialect, casonova, vignette, arbitrage, confidante, gave, airport, tiresome, ionosphere, surcease, agglutinate, shuck, axisymmetric, competitor, swingable, physic, harpsichord, entice, bittern, cathodic, bronchial

That’s just from this email. Other nice ones included…

revolution, digress, conflagrate, prudent, doorsetp, cottonmouth, ecclesiastic, drumhead, endpoint, crosstalk, acuity, straightaway and butterfly

Damn, this spammer could win the nobel prize for literature just for compling a list of complex verbage in a piece of crap email. Must be another linguistics/philosophy double major gone the road of selling herbal viagra out of his garage. Shame.

Why does the Euro Make you Money? See our Free Report

>>link to website
Oh, do tell!!!


Ci.alis Softtabs

blah, blah, blah…

Special Ends Soon… Or,der Here -> >>link to website
Chat Soon

Hola to you senor! Como estas? Bien, gracias! I see your special ends soon, so I will make haste, or “andele” as your people say it, right over to your website to get in on this deal that is so especial, no? Chat soon? You promise???

I just love spam. It’s so dreamy! Sigh.

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