Rbk Hearts Scarlett Johansson

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When I think of Scarlett Johansson, I think athlete, don’t you? Actually, I don’t. I think, “Good grief, her breasts are large.” But, that’s just me. Maybe you do think of her as an athlete and, if so, you’re in luck because Reebok has signed the young, blonde actress to an endorsement deal.

“What? I thought those were just for athletes!” is something you might gasp noting the seeming hypocracy of signing a beautiful young actress to endorse a line of clothing designed to promote fitness. Well, this is a shoe company. This is the same industry that convinced us we should all “Just Do It” and by “Just Do It,” they of course meant use slave labor in tiny foreign countries to help drive up profits for board members and stockholders. So, hypocracy is really a relative term for the biz.

Anyway, the “Scarlett Hearts Rbk” line (aw, how cute!) will feature, according to Reebok, “head-to-toe looks designed to take today’s multi-dimensional woman from the studio to the street in style.”

What exactly is a multi-dimensional woman, you ask? For those of you geeks reading at home, that’s a flesh and blood woman who lives in the three dimensional world most normal folks call “outside.” For Reebok, they hope it means lots of young, professional women who want to look like a movie star sweating on an exerbike while bitching about the 19-year-old spinning class instructor who eats burgers and twinkies and never gains an ounce.

Good luck, ladies. If anything should get you motivated, it’s a 22-year-old, 5’4″, 110-pound actress who has made more money in the last two years than the glass ceiling world of corporate America will probably allow you to make in a lifetime. Enjoy the bike ride!

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