Joel Siegal Hates on Clerks II, Silent Bob Strikes Back

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I’m not a fan of the movie Clerks and really have no intention of seeing its sequal. I find the duo of Jay and Silent Bob (one of the duo played by the film’s director, Kevin Smith) to be both un-funny and mildly annoying at the same time. But, that’s just personal preference, kind of like how I think liver tastes like ass but find cottage cheese to be a delightful breakfast side dish.

Anyway, I do think that Smith is a pretty talented guy and this morning, I spotted the fued between him and Good Morning America critic Joel Siegel and it cracked me up.

Apparently, Siegal walked out of a screening of Clerks II about 40 minutes in because he hated it that much. Whatever, right? But, what made things worse is that he allegedly said, “Time to go!” rather loudly and the stood up, stomped down the aisle while nearly shouting,”This is the first movie I’ve walked out of in 30 fucking years!”

Whatever you think of of Clerks II and its bizarre and, at times, edgy (that’s a nice word for fucking filthy) brand of comedy – and the folks at Cannes gave it an 8-minute ovation though they’ve done that for some of what I consider the biggiest pieces of crap ever to waste celluloid, so take that with a grain of salt – if you are a critic and you are paid to sit through movies and take notes quietly, a pretty damn cool gig, just do that and let the rest go.

Smith sums it up aptly in his blog:

You never… NEVER disrupt a movie, simply because you don’t like it.

Cardinal rule of movie-going: shut your fucking mouth while the movie’s playing. They even ask you to do so in the pre-show run-up to every flick (“Cell phones and pagers off, no talking during the show”). This guy went beyond talking, even; he was making a spectacle of himself as he left. I’ve now spoken to three folks in attendance last night, and all have said that Siegel WANTED everyone to know how disgusted he was, and that he was leaving. If you want to share your displeasure with everyone, that’s fine, dude; just do it AFTER the movie, not during. Some folks were enjoying themselves. I don’t come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like “‘Shark Tale’ Is a Halibut Good Time”; so don’t fuck with my stuff WHILE IT’S STILL SCREENING.

Shit, Joel, I know you like being on camera and all, but was it so difficult to not be the center of attention for 40 minutes that you just had to sparkle, Neely, sparkle-it up for your peers instead of showing them a little goddamn courtesy by leaving the theater the way most people do, either during or after the picture: quietly? What are you, a twelve year old boy, cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of “Scary Movie 4” while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching “The Devil Wears Prada”? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya’ rude-ass prick.

As much as I don’t care about the movie, I have to agree with him and seeing a filmmaker rip a critic in public like this makes me squeel [insert German Dieter-like accent] like a little girl[/insert German Dieter-like accent].

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