God Apparently in Breach of Contract

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I love lawsuits. They are so much fun, like slow, painful death. Now, some lawsuits have merit, like when Kramer tried to sue the coffee company or the cigarette manufacturer…oh, that Kramer, he’s rich.

Anyway, other lawsuits are borderline crazy.

Now, I’m not saying this man is insane. I don’t have to. You can read for yourself.

Prisoner sues God

A Romanian prisoner is suing God for failing to save him from the Devil.

The inmate, named as Pavel M in media reports, accused God of “cheating, abuse and traffic of influence”.

His complaint reads: “I, the undersigned Pavel M, currently jailed at Timisoara Penitentiary serving a 20 years sentence for murder, request legal action against God, resident in Heaven, and represented here by the Romanian Orthodox Church, for committing the following crimes: cheating, concealment, abuse against people’s interest, taking bribe and traffic of influence.”

The inmate argued that his baptism was a contract between him and God who was supposed to keep the Devil away and keep him out of trouble.

He added: “God even claimed and received from me various goods and prayers in exchange for forgiveness and the promise that I would be rid of problems and have a better life.

“But on the contrary I was left in Devil’s hands.”

The complaint was sent to the Timisoara Court of Justice and forwarded to the prosecutor’s office.

But prosecutors said it would probably be dropped and they were unable to subpoena God to court.

Ok, God is so totally busted. Oh, sure, he’s there for burning bushes and parting of seas, but what happened with Romainian prisoner number X17248? What about his needs?

Perhaps it’s all just a clever joke intended to amuse the rest of us. Of course! That must be it.

Oh, God…you devil!

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