A Marathon with a Nap at the End

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A few selections from the story. You can read the whole thing by clicking the Related Link at the bottom.

Hundreds of Britons are being urged to attend what is being branded as Europe’s first “Masturbate-a-thon,” a leading British reproductive healthcare charity said Friday.

Alrighty, then. Not only is it masturbation, but it is done in a public locale. Oh, there’s more.

Before I go on, I must acknowledge that I continually giggle each time I post another quote from the story because the class I use (tekkie word for funny graphic code thingy) for the style that causes the quote to have that gray box around it is “PULLquote.” He he he. I know, I’m like a 6th grader.

“It is a bit of a publicity stunt but we hope it will raise awareness,” a Marie Stopes spokeswoman told Reuters.

It’s a BIT of a publicity stunt. Uh, ya think? Oh, it will RAISE something alright, though I’m not sure it is awareness.

Participants, who have to be over 18, can bring any aids they need and can take part in four different rooms — a comfort area, a mixed area, along with men and women only areas.

Ok, wait, what? You mean they do this around OTHER PEOPLE? Oh, good Lord! Plus, they get to bring any aid they need…well, not quite ANY aid…

However, the rules on the event’s Web site states there can be no touching of other participants nor are people allowed to fake orgasms.

No touching. How sad.

But, I love, love, LOVE the rule that said people are not allowed to fake orgasms. Holy crap! This comedy writes itself! How do they know if, for example, a woman has a real one? I really don’t want to know the answer to that question.

“The amount you raise will be determined by how many minutes you masturbate and/or how many orgasms you achieve,” the Web site said.

They keep score. How classic. Maybe they can have a tote board like in telethons. “Let’s go to the big board, Margie. With John Smith’s…er…is that right? Well, we certainly have a lot of Smith’s in the marathon today. With Mr. Smith’s total of 3 orgasms over 97 minutes, that brings us to a grand total of $27,373!” I guess that should be pounds considering it is in England.

The Marie Stopes spokeswoman said local religious groups had been initially outraged, but after people had heard what the event was about, most had approved it.

Police had also given it their approval.

Religious groups were outraged? No! They approved it later. What religion is this and may I have their number?

Similar events have been staged in San Francisco for the last six years raising $25,000 for women’s health initiatives and HIV prevention. If successful, Marie Stopes said it could take place elsewhere in mainland Europe next year.

San Francisco. What a surprise. Well, this is one marathon I’m on board with, not that I would participate mind you. Shut up!

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