Zwinky = Annoying + Mac Hating

Anyone see these annoying adds for “dressing your Zwinky?” If you thought it was an ad for a new condom, you wouldn’t be alone, but apparently it is just some goofy avatar that looks like the scary animated love child of Betty Boop and Joan Jett. That’s the female version in all the stupid ads plastered all over MySpace anyway. Something like this:

This is just one of the many outfits in which to dress your “Zwinky.” As far as I know, there are no naked Zwinkys, so don’t go looking you anime perverts.

Finally, after weeks of being annoyed by this ad (I’m easily bothered by such things), I decided to follow their instructions like a faithful minion and “Click here!” I was directed to the Zwinky site (I’m not giving them the benefit of a link) that looked like this:

It was an animation with each character changing modes of dress over and over. On the left, your anime Barbi and on the right, your anime Ken. It’s like a virtual world of unfulfilled expectations. I mean, look at all the gear – mini skirts, boots, a beach ball, a surf board, camoflage (although, what are they hiding from that they need THREE pair of camoflage shorts?), a tennis racket, a hoddie, an imitation “I’m very cool” blue shirt with flames and what appears to be a bowling ball bag in front of a Fender Surfaster? Very confusing.

Anyway, they had a big button on there to get started and, like one of my cats, curiosity (and catnip – I love that stuff) got the best of me.

Upon clicking the link, I get this…

I wouldn’t have been quite as stupified if the sad little bobble-headed character was accompanied by the “wah, wah wah…” sound you hear in cartoons when something goes hilariously wrong.

Not Mac compatible. Oh, Zwinky, will you ever learn? The web isn’t about operating systems. It’s about the free exchange of information and dress up animated dolls.

But, what was most vexing was how they “invite” me to use My Way. Well, gee thanks, just what I always wanted: Yahoo lite. All I want to do is play animated dress up and I get news and stock reports and I can check my email for free! I’m overjoyed.

Want a tip, Zwinky? Learn the lesson of cross compatibility and don’t insult Mac users by trying to pawn off your low-rent news aggragator as compensation for your programmer shortcomings. Now, I don’t get to play with my Zwinky. Wait…nevermind.