When is a Car More Than Just a Car?

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Answer: when it’s a truck.

But, seriously, what is up with advertisers and cars lately? Most car commercials range from mildly annoying to downright idiotic, but lately, I’ve noticed a trend.

When an ad agency pitches a concept to a client, they usually say something like, “We want to make your customers FEEL their purchase.” They speak in that stupid corporate speak that makes no sense to anyone and sounds dumber.

They also use phrases like, “We aren’t just selling perfume. We’re selling a lifestyle choice.” Uh, no you aren’t. You’re selling smelly water for way too much money that is endorsed by a woman with no talent who is more famous for her cell phone sex videos than for her singing or acting or clothing line or perfu…er…I mean, personalized scent. Ew.

The recent car ads I’ve seen like to quiz us on vehicles: when is a car more than just a car? When does a car become a trusted friend? When does a car become a member of the family?

Um, never, unless you live in crazy town. Cars are things. They are not living, breathing entities. They don’t do anything to help or give you support and comfort other than what their design facilitates. They are just freaking cars.

I love my truck, but it hauls crap and gets me comfortably from A to B. That’s it.

I’m not easily swayed by ads that try to convince me that the value of an object is somehow equal to or even close to equal to the value of a person. If I need a Lexus to make me feel safe, I have WAY too much money and not nearly enough sense of reality.

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