What the Hell is This, Jersey?

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Bumble's Bounce!According to the National Weather Service, the Houston area could experience up to, get this, half a FOOT of snow tomorrow. We’ll get sleet in the morning, snow by lunch and freezing temperatures for up to 12 hours tomorrow night after the snow calms down.

This is the second year in a row we will be experiencing snow assuming the weather gnomes are accurate. Granted, I think Frank Billingsley once predicted it would be partly cloudy with a chance of fire and brimstone and Neil Frank was notorious for blaming rain on “my sweet lord and savior, Satan,” which is probably why he retired. But, still, the NWS is kind of like the council of elders when it comes to weather and when they continue to suggest without even a hint of irony that we might get 2-4 inches of accumulation, I have to sort of believe them.

Two years of snow? Seriously, what is this, New Jersey, Buffalo, DETROIT!!!???

Don’t get me wrong, I love the snow. It’s just freaky. I’m pretty sure it has to do with 2012. Those Goddamn Myans did this. They cursed us. They unleashed some sort of snow monster (pictured above) to destroy us because of our sweet, sweet humidity and love of ozone.

I’ve never trusted those Myans. It’s their beady little eyes. Oh, sure, they’re extinct, but that’s no excuse for raining down hell fire on Houston. Besides, it’s not even 2012 and yet we are made to suffer.

Then again, it could just be aliens, which makes sense given that War of the Worlds is on tv tomorrow night. Hmmm. Whatever the case, here’s the forecast. Note that there is no indication of flowing magma or flying squirrels…yet.


  6 Replies to “What the Hell is This, Jersey?”

  1. December 3, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    And true to form it’ll be back in the 70s next week. Houston: if you don’t like the weather, just wait a couple of days.

  2. December 3, 2009 at 8:19 pm

    LOL – I noticed it only snows in Houston when there is a recession. I blame the federal government for this.

    And I blame Al Gore for turning off the heat.

    I hadn’t considered the whole 2012 angle, perhaps they were right?

    And BTW it was 70′ in Boston today.

  3. December 3, 2009 at 8:53 pm

    I *love* flying squirrel season. Can’t keep the cars clean, sure, but it makes the pets so happy…

  4. December 3, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    Though the War of the Worlds angle wears out because, with even the thought of a breath of precipitaion (freezing or otherwise), the cable goes out.

    What to o then you Mayans?!? What to do then?!? Relating to the family and games and Uno and hot chocolate and popcorn? WHAT is the world coming to?

    (Of course, if White and Emmett tell me to bunker down, then there’ll be no choice.)

    (New HIWI book for next year, HIWI:SNOW)

  5. blahblahblah
    December 3, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    Its MAYA and there are still thousands of them living in Central America. Dumb ass.

  6. Jeff
    December 4, 2009 at 12:11 am

    It’s called humor. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. Then again…

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