The Top Baby Names of 2006

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It’s a funny thing, naming a child.  On one hand, a simple but elegant name can lead to greatness and, even more important, hotness.  I mean, do you know any hot girls named Gertrude?  But, I bet like 7 out of 10 named Nikki are pretty smokin’, right?

I digress.  Anyway, the “Baby Center” recapped the top baby names of 2006.  You can see their entire top 100 here.  For myself, I’ll just go with the top 20.

Girls:

1 Emma
2 Madison
3 Ava
4 Emily
5 Isabella
6 Kaitlyn
7 Sophia
8 Olivia
9 Abigail
10 Hailey
11 Hannah
12 Sarah
13 Madeline
14 Lily
15 Ella
16 Alyssa
17 Riley
18 Chloe
19 Lauren
20 Grace

I honestly have very few quibbles with this list.  Most of the girl names are pretty reasonable, but don’t you get the sense that many of them have a vaguely European bent to them?  I mean Ava, Isabella, Sophia?  How can you feed Isabella Fruit Loops for breakfast?  Shouldn’t she get raspberry scones and a latte even age 4?

My only argument would be with Abagail.  Yikes.  I guess it shortens to Abby, which is cute, but you KNOW everytime someone sends this girl an email, it will start with “Dear Abby” and uproarious laughter.

Boys:

Now, this is the list where I have some issues.

1 Aiden
2 Jacob
3 Ethan
4 Ryan
5 Matthew
6 Jack
7 Noah
8 Nicholas
9 Joshua
10 Logan
11 Andrew
12 Michael
13 Caden
14 Dylan
15 Tyler
16 Connor
17 Jackson
18 Caleb
19 Jayden
20 Alexander

Aiden?  Really?  Much like Isabella or Eva, I get the feeling that kid should be reading the Wall Street Journal while getting his corrective shoes polished by the butler at age 5.  As for the rest:

Ethan – pretentious kid who thinks liking Jewel’s poetry makes him artsy
Noah – relentless model boat builder who is fixated on animals of every species
Logan – constantly confused with “username”
Caden – way too close to “Gayden” which is just not fair
Connor – doomed to life of spy or porn star
Jackson – obsessed with action and monkeys
Caleb – future serial killer or Amish farmer
Jayden – ok for Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, not for you
Alexander – you just think he will be great, but more likely mediocre

Overall, not a horrible list with less creativity than in years past, though when I saw that Nevaeh has become a trendy name because it is “heaven” spelled backward, I threw up in my mouth a little.

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