Now the Carpet Can Match the Drapes

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I really wish I could make this crap up. If I could, I’d be wealthier or funnier, probably just funnier, but who knows? Seriously, this is damn funny.

Pubic hair coloring…I’m not kidding.

Betty

If you think a brown betty is an apple tart, you may not want to read further.

That’s not the meaning ascribed by Betty Beauty, a New York startup that is getting big PR play by marketing hair color for the nether regions. Billed as “color for the hair down there,” the company began really building buzz this summer with a brief appearance on the “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” and mentions in magazines such as Vogue, W and People Style Watch.

Distribution so far is only in about 300 salons and beauty stores and via the website Bettybeauty.com. But helped along with a publicity push from LaForce & Stevens, New York, traffic to Bettybeauty.com, as measured by Alexa.com, was on pace last week for 2 million visits annually, running well ahead of Procter & Gamble Co.’s Clairol.com and climbing toward that of L’Oreal’s website.

That’s despite the fact that founder Nancy Jarecki’s first, and to date only, advertising expenditure was a $1,995 full-page ad in the official publication of the Cosmoprof beauty trade show in Las Vegas in July. By the time she registered for the show, the ad had already created enough buzz that several people around the table were asking her about it. The ad also helped draw the “Leno” team, which was taping a segment at the show. “It was just banter,” she said, along the lines of “It’s Betty — color for the hair down there.”

But it was enough to draw thousands of visits from people who did online searches even before her site was taking orders, Ms. Jarecki said. Mentions in magazines, on drive-time radio and on the website DailyCandy.com followed this summer and fall.

The whole thing started with Ms. Jarecki’s visits to a hair salon in Rome, where she was living three years ago. She noticed as women left the salon, the colorist would discreetly slip them little brown bags. “They would receive it with such delight, kiss kiss, and away they would go,” she said.

Curious, she asked the receptionist what the women were getting in those little bags and was told, in Italian, “to match down there.”

“I thought, ‘Of course, who wouldn’t want to be a true blonde?”‘ Ms. Jarecki said.

Well, OF COURSE! Except you aren’t a “true blonde” unless you were born with it, but whatevs.  Listen, ladies, I’d just like to offer you both my concern and condolences for the things you feel you must put yourself through for the sake of looking attractive.

I know we men are often difficult people with strange and bizarre likes and dislikes. But, one man’s thigh-high leather boot is another man’s landing strip I always say.  Yes, rubber corsets are uncomfortable and nipple rings painful. And while many women, no doubt, do these things for their own gratification, I can’t help but feel sorry for the woman whose significant other says…

“You know honey, what I’ve always wanted is to date a REAL redhead…you know what I mean?  So, you think you could get some of that new pubic hair coloring stuff for me, can ya?  Oh, and do they make spray-on freckles?”

Sigh. We men are strange and frightening creatures although I’m not sure if that is as frightening as the thought of coloring your private areas for decoration.  Too each his own…black, brown or “fun,” whatever the hell that is.

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