Kittens, Tarot and Arthritis…All in a Day’s Shopping

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I was in my friendly neighborhood Kroger store the other day and ran across these sitting on the rack with the National Enquierer, Star, etc.

This confuses me on many levels, but I’ll be more specific.

I should explain, firstly, that I don’t like Dummies books. I prefer the Idiot books and here’s why. Dummy implies that I’m inherently stupid. It is as if the book has to condescend to me with its title. “Oh, you poor widdle thing. Here’s a book us smart people wrote just…for…you!” That bugs me.

On the other hand, any intellegent person can act like an idiot. I do it more often than I’d like and have no problem referring to myself as such. But, I’d like to believe I’m no dummy.

Anyway, back to the confusion. I’m trying to figure out why these three particular Dummy books (well, not books, but more on than later) are doing together. Do people with kittens need tarot and have arthritis? Maybe all the playing with the kittens gave the person arthritis and they need tarot to see how everything will work out. Maybe the tarot is so the person can predict what kind of kitten he/she will get and if it is a good idea and the arthritis book(let) is for a needy relative.

Who knows, but putting “Kittens for Dummies,” “Tarot for Dummies” and “Arthritis for Dummies” together seems to be seeking a very, VERY specific demographic, one of which I’m not aware and not totally certain I’d like to become aware of anytime soon.

What deepens my concern here is that these aren’t books, but bookLETS. They are really just oversized pamphlets. How much can you really learn about tarot from thirty pages intended for morons? Chances are, that kitten will have clawed your eye out before you have learned what only the book version of this booklet could teach you or, for that matter, the internet can teach you for free.

Maybe the arthritis I understand. This is an awful lot lighter than a book, so they get a mulligan for that one.

In reality, these booklets are like Cliff’s Notes for Dummies. If you honestly need help with a particular subject and you reach for a Dummy book in the first place, my guess is you aren’t THAT serious about it. If you reach for the booklet version, you are just throwing your money way. That level of disinterest really requires nothing more than a passing glance and a simple shake of the head that says, “I’m too (INSERT WORD HERE) to buy this book.”

Words to insert may include: broke, smart, disinterested, uneducated, busy, much of a dummy…etc. Whatever the case, the motivation required to summon the effort to by the booklet version of Tarot for Dummies is so miniscule that I recommend you save your money for something you really need like Lottery tickets or a band-aid for that kitten scratch on your forehead. You don’t want that to get infected.

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