I read on a blog the other day that the Swine Flu was actually a bioterror weapon distributed by the US government so they could force everyone to take mind controlling drugs hidden in immunizations that would allow them to impose martial law. That makes a LOT of sense to me given how effective the Swine Flu has been at… Read more →
Category: Things You Buy for $100
Things I Love: Friends Who Send Me Photos of Sexual Aides So I’ll Blog About Them
Every Thursday, I post about the things that I love, and God only knows what those things might be. Recently, I’ve posted a few times about various sexual aides. On Thursdays, I write about things I love and while there aren’t any sexual aides I love (including you, Jenna Jamison molded vagina), I do love my friends, particularly friends like… Read more →
Here I Go Writing About Vibrators Again
To be fair to myself (and to vibrators in general), the last time I wrote about sex toys, it was about a dildo lamp. Before that it was about the Blow Guard, so saying “again” is maybe not an accurate statement, but whatever, perv, no one asked you. Today’s installment of “what a perv wants” is brought to you by… Read more →
Why Do I Keep Blogging About Sex Toys Like Dildo Lamps?
I recently alerted you all to the amazing totally creepy dental innovation known as the Blow Guard. In an effort to make your sex even sexier, I have something just as good: the dildo lamp. When I was married, my ex and I used to hide things from our families when they would visit. It’s bad enough to have the… Read more →
The Most Romantic Gift Ever: Blow Guard
I wish I was smart enough to come up with some of the crap people think up on a daily basis. Honestly, the Foreman Grill, the Flowbee, the human heart and now the Blow Guard. I’m sure it’s very useful, but I have some questions about the ad: First of all, isn’t Nick the Dick that guy with the foot-long… Read more →
Sell, Sell, Sell!
Five dollars. Maybe I’ll go to the movies… by myself. I had a yard sale last week. I’m becoming a gun runner and now I’m selling to the bare walls. I’m seriously like some crazed lunatic trying to sell furniture or waterbeds or used cars. If I had kidnapped Bette Midler like they did in Ruthless People, she would TOTALLY… Read more →