Thanks Dictionary word of the day! 1. “Carouse” is a noun? Who knew? 2. I thought Brannigan was Laurie’s last name. GLORIA!!! Read more →
Traveling Man
It’s been a while since I did one of these kinds of updates – you know the kind where I tell you what I’ve been doing, you doze off and then wake up after a dream where I stabbed you in the arm only it wasn’t a dream because I was really just upset that you – a good friend… Read more →
Man Dies, but Twilight is AWESOME!
I’m on vacation, bitches, so suck it! HA HA HA!!! Ahem. But, seriously, I’m blogging for you, my people! That’s how much I love and care for each and every one of you, except for you – you know who you are. So, I saw this and had to post it. Apparently, in Wellington, New Zealand, a homeless man was… Read more →
World Cup Gone X Rated
What has happened to our sports? I understand that we all giggle when football announcers say things like “he needs to get deep penetration into their backfield” or golf commentators say “he’s lost a lot of balls in the deep rough” or baseball guys describe their recent visits to prostitutes, but what is going on at the World Cup sickens… Read more →
Washington Gives Back to Live Music…Not Really
Last August, I wrote a blog post about what I termed the “doucheification” of Washinton Avenue. This lead to a story in the Chronicle as well. Since then, life on the Jersey Shore of Houston has continued unabated. Walter’s remains open as they supposedly search for a new home base. Today, I ran across a story in the Chron about… Read more →
Greeting Cards Getting Too Specific
My mom and I have a unique way of celebrating our mutual birthdays and Mother’s Day. Her birthday is May 1. My birthday is May 7 (Yes, you forgot it and I’ve deleted you from my Evite list as a result, so no more cat birthdays or cartoon marathon parties for you, sucka!). Mother’s Day is usually right in between… Read more →
Dear Abby: She’s Back, Baby and by “Baby” I’m Speaking in Slang and Don’t Mean an Actual Infant, Which Would Be Weird
There’s nothing quite as hot interesting as a good Dear Abby letter. Call me old fashioned. Call me silly. Call me Dr. Awesome (trademark pending). Whatever the case may be, I dig Abs and her homespun wisdom. It’s been a while since I had my own installment, so I thought I’d answer a couple of her letters myself. How hard… Read more →
Woman Gets Pregnant Via 3D Porn – True Story
First, don’t ask me to explain where I got the image to the right. Frankly, I wish I could erase from my memory some of the things I had to see to bring you this blog post. Suffice it to say, you reading and commenting on this post will have meant all my suffering was worth it. I mean I… Read more →
Let’s Do Some Dirty Dancing…In Your Pants
This past weekend was a straight JAM. My birthday was Friday, complete with dinner, drinking and much enjoyment of all things fun and totally awesome, which is to say, ME! Ha ha, I’m so modest and sweet and sexy and badass all at the same time. How do I do it?! Saturday night was Ben Folds at the House of… Read more →
Massive Classmates.com FAIL
It might come as a surprise to some of you, but I actually went to high school. I know that you all think I was sprung forth from some educational demi-god free from the fetters of our antiquated education system, but, no, much like the rest of you beautiful peons, I too suckled at the teat of the American education… Read more →