Abby Does It Again

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I’ve had the chance to paruse the Chronicle this morning for the first time in a few days given my travels. As usual, I read Dear Abby and, once again, a letter has struck me to the point that I HAD to post this.

I recently met a gorgeous woman I’ll call “Giselle.” After we had dated for a couple of months and became physically involved, she told me she had had gender reassignment surgery and used to be a man! I was, to say the least, shocked and deeply disturbed. I did not punch out Giselle as I would have liked to – which brings me to my question.

To begin with, this is already awesome. Obviously, not to this guy. But, it is great for me on several levels.

First, this means we get to see Abby deal with sex changes gender reassignment in a column. That alone is worth the price of admission. But, then we add the fact that the guy admitted to wanting to punch “Giselle,” who he described as “gorgeous.”

What makes this really humerous to me is that, in two sentences, our friend has tried to let everyone know that, yes, he is indeed heterosexual. She was hot. He wanted to deck her when he found out she used to be a he. But, that’s not the funny part. The funny part is that HE DID THIS IN A DEAR ABBY LETTER!!!

Dude, if you want to prove your masculinity, don’t do it for Abby readers. Not exactly top of the masucline heap if you know what I’m saying. I love reading Abby, but I’m not reading it for all its manly qualites.

But, this isn’t the best part of his letter. Remember, he still had a question.

What is the etiquette regarding physically confronting someone like that? Is it the same as hitting a girl? We’re roughly the same size.

OMG, this is genius! Raise your hand if when you were reading the first part, you thought he was going to ask whether or not he should continue dating Giselle or if it was wrong of her to hide the truth or something like that. God knows I was. But, as usual, I was surprised.

The guy wants to know if it is ok to kick this chick’s ass because she…and I love this…USED to be a he, as if kicking ANYONE’S ass is ok and as if this is truly grounds for whopping up on a girl.

Even better, he wants to make sure it is not the same as hitting a girl because she is “rougly the same size” as him! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Why do I get the feeling the Gizelle would’ve kicked this guys ass? This is so beyond brilliant, it isn’t even right.

As per usual, Abby responded with absolute calmness though I have to wonder if she was as shocked and amused at the same time like I was.

Because Giselle is now a female, it would, indeed, have been the same as hitting a girl, and I’m glad you restrained yourself. I have a feeling that she was probably more hurt that you stopped seeing her than any physical blow you might have inflicted.

As to the “etiquette” regarding hitting her, if you hit someone of either gender, it is assault and battery – or possibly worse – and it’s a crime that can land you in jail. Be glad you controlled your temper.

The modicum of sanity and sensitivity as usual. Thanks Abby for restoring my faith that people aren’t all morons and for printing this letter. If my day hadn’t been good already, it would be now. 🙂

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