In between loads of laundry, writing blog posts and signing up for Netflix (I know, life of a rock star!), I ran out to grab a couple things from the
store ghetto Kroger and get some lunch. These are a few of the things I heard during my time away from home.
Speakers Outside the Car
Apparently, some idiots really think we all want to hear their car audio selections. I completely understand people blaring loud music in their cars and even doing it with the windows open. I’ve done it. Still do on occasion. But, listen up, Casey Kasem, you may want all of us to hear your version of American Top 40, but if anyone wanted that, they’d put you on the radio instead of inside a vehicle where the rims are worth about three times as much as as your entire car.
And FYI, hip hop often gets a bad rap (get it?) for the thumping low end bumping out of cars with speakers on the inside, so how do you think people feel when it is at about 200 db outside your car? What I would love to do is find out where you live, equip my truck with PA speakers and drive by your house every day playing a selection of awesome tunes from Barry Manilow, Metallica and Celine Dion. Maybe you’d like it so much, you’d put it into your rotation.
“Would you like a sample?”
On my way into ghetto Kroger, I found myself having to walk around a barbecue pit manned by two older women in what appeared to be lab coats. They had blocked off half the entrance to the store so that there was very little room to get under the covered area, which was convenient on the first day of what I can only assume will be 40 days and 40 nights of rain considering the number of times local weather guys cut into the basketball game I was watching earlier.
Anyway, they were cooking up ribs and one of the women asked me if I would like a sample and said, “They’re good baby back ribs.” First, how does Kroger get away with selling the ribs from a baby’s back? That’s sick! Second, not that I’m weird about eating questionable meat off of a nasty looking grill in a grocery store parking lot, but seriously, I am especially when the person making them has to tell me “they’re good” as if to say, “I promise you won’t get sick much.” Lastly, what’s with the lab coats? Are you registered barbecue technicians or something?
Lost in Love
It was a very Air Supply Sunday in the Subway today. As I was ordering my ham and baby back rib sandwich (What? I like babies!), over the speakers came the familiar soft rock sounds of Air Supply. They wrote a lot of songs about love and my mom apparently liked all of them because I heard them a lot growing up. At Subway, I got “Lost in Love,” which is marginally better than “All Out of Love,” significantly cooler than “The One That You Love,” but not nearly the juggernaut that was “Making Love Out of Nothing at All,” which is totally hot.
“I really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree.”
After hearing “The Joker” come out of my car stereo, I started thinking I need to start a regular post about things I consider underrated. Steve Miller is one of those. I’m not a big Miller fan, but the guy made some quality rock records in the 70’s, he’s from Texas and can you really ever dislike a guy who wants to loves womens’ peaches and just wants to “lovey dovey, lovey lovey dovey” all day long? I think not.
Jesus and Boz Scaggs
DJ: You’ve just won Boz Scaggs tickets.
Caller: Thank you! I guess that’s what I get for getting up and going to church at 7am this morning.
DJ: Church always helps.
Caller (without missing a beat): Amen.