Have you ever thought to yourself, “You know what would be AWESOME? Wearing someone’s skin.” Really, you have? Wow. You are a lot freakier than I thought you were. I kinda can’t even look at your right now. I’ll just look over here. Ok, that’s better.
Well, since you are weird, you’ll have something to add to your wish list this year: fashion made from blow up dolls.
What? You thought those dolls were just for your sad little sexual escapades that you don’t tell anyone about but all know you do? Well, think again Pervy McPerverson.
The designer is Sander Reijgers, which I assume is a fake name because I’m fairly certain that is the name of my Ikea coffee table. He’s from some place called Utrecht, which I thought was a car Volvo makes. Since he makes blow up doll clothing, I didn’t think it was strange that he lives in a car, but I’ve been told Utrecht is a city in the Netherlands, which also sounds like a made up place, but it shows up on a Google map and I failed geology, so what do I know?
But, seriously “The Netherlands?” Why not “The Nether Regions” or “Really Far Away” or “Not Remotely Close to You” or “We Suck at Naming Things, So We’re Just Going to Call This, Let’s Say, North Town Place Land Ville?”
Anyway, I guess this guy’s lifelong dream was to combine his two favorite things – blow jobs from balloons and clothing only crazy people will wear. What a break for him! And lord knows there is nothing more flattering to your head than a vagina hoodie.
Plus, there is the added bonus of people walking up to you on the street and saying, “Dude, that plastic jacket with the anus on the shoulder and the nipple on the chest is totally sweet!” Even better when you reveal to him that the nipple on your chest is your actual nipple and offer to let him blow on it for you. Oh, the fun!