Hey, Everybody, Let’s Eat Some Pie!

Stan: Well,how is it?
Ogre: It’s good.
Burke: Is it good or is it great?
Ogre: It’s good.
Stan: It’s just good then what the heck are they selling so many of them for?
Ogre: This why!
Burke: Uh,oh!
Stan: That’s my pie.

Cherry PieIn honor of National Pie Day, I give you the following poem which represents man’s struggle to find love in a world of sweet, sweet pie.

Swingin’ on the front porch
Swingin’ on the lawn
Swingin’ where we want
‘Cause there ain’t nobody home
Swingin’ to the left
And swingin’ to the right
If I think about baseball
I’ll swing all night yea
Swingin’ in the living room
Swingin’ in the kitchen
Most folks don’t ’cause
They’re too busy bitchin’
Swingin’ in there ’cause
She wanted me to feed her
So I mixed up the batter
And she licked the beater
I scream you scream
We all scream for her
Don’t even try ’cause
You can’t ignore her
She’s my cherry pie
Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
Tastes so good
Make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie oh yea
She’s my cherry pie
Put a smile on your face
Ten miles wide
Looks so good
Bring a tear to your eye
Sweet cherry pie
Swingin’ to the drums
Swingin’ to guitar
Swingin’ to the bass
In the back of my car
Ain’t got money
Ain’t got no gas
But we’ll get where
We’re goin’ if we
Swing real fast
I scream you scream
We all scream for her
Don’t even try ’cause
You can’t ignore her
Swing it! All night long,
Swing it!
Swing in the bathroom
Swingin’ on the floor
Swingin’ so hard
We forgot to lock the door
In walks her daddy
Standin’ six foot four
He said you ain’t gonna swing
With my daughter no more
She’s my cherry pie
Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
Tastes so good
Make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie oh yea
She’s my cherry pie
Put a smile on your face
Ten miles wide
Looks so good
Bring a tear to your eye
Sweet cherry pie
Sweet cherry pie

  One Reply to “Hey, Everybody, Let’s Eat Some Pie!”

  1. January 25, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    I have a great anecdote about Jani Lane (which is really just a recounting of an interview I saw on VH1 several years ago) that I’d recount here if I wasn’t already so drunk.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *